Bridges

Here I stand in front of another bridge looking out over and trying to prepare myself to take the first steps.

I remind myself that I’ve been here many times before; at another bridge, in another moment of time.

Each time I stand before a new bridge I find myself anxious and nervous-never knowing what is waiting for me on the other side.

Some moments I don’t even consciously remember such as; my birth- going from one place to another and perhaps the next was taking my first steps between my mother and father- those first unsteady steps having to let go of my mother‘s hands while staying focused on my father and his outreaching hands and the awkwardness in between. Then there was going from a kid, being coddled at home, to being a big girl riding the school bus for the first time. Actually, I do remember that one. I peed my pants and ran home to my mother. She took me to school that day but I was successful the next.

As I look ahead from that time or perhaps back from where I stand now I can see that each new uncharted experience was like standing in front of a bridge to cross.

There was my high school graduation, ‘becoming a woman’, first marriage, becoming a mother, menopause, getting older and now…facing death with a cancer diagnosis.

Another bridge before me and here I am standing in front of it not knowing what is waiting for me on the other side.

Memorial Day 2021

My grandfather, George McAlevey, who fought in WW11 was gone for five years. He left when my dad, John, was two and came back when he was seven. My grandmother, Vi, kept him familiar to my dad, all those years, through letters and photos and when my grandfather came home and stepped off that train my dad turned around, recognized him and said to my Grammie, ‘Hey Mom, there’s Dad!’

My grandmother told me that story when I was 18. To this day it’s still one of my favorites.

My dad later joined the army and was stationed in Japan. He was so proud to serve his country. He met my mom, Pam, in Texas while she was working for the army but that’s a nice story for another time.